I’ve always loved writing. And not just one type of writing, but all of it — research papers, poetry, blogging, short stories, even writing emails — I love it all. I love the fact that you can put all of your thoughts out on a page before going back to mold it and edit it into something that explains exactly how you’re feeling. Or not. You could simply keep writing and not care about what your thoughts sound like to others, as long as your thoughts are out there. That’s why I love it so much, and why I think it’s a great form of therapy.
Therapy and I haven’t gotten along in the past, something that I’m sure I’ll touch on in a future post. So, without talking my friend’s and family’s ears off with everything I was feeling all of the time, although I knew they wouldn’t have minded, I turned to writing. It was a subconscious coping mechanism at the time. I didn’t realize why I started writing more and more in my spare time until recently, but I think it was just what I needed in that point of my life.
I started with writing fictional short stories, or blurbs, really. They weren’t any more than a couple hundred words each. But each of them dealt with something emotional, be it happy, sad, or full of angst. I wasn’t writing about my feelings directly, but it gave me an outlet to let out some of that emotion that I wasn’t letting out otherwise.
As I got more and more comfortable writing about those pent up emotions, I started to write longer pieces about things that affected me more in my daily life like anxiety and depression. While no one was reading what I was writing, it felt good to get everything out and written down. It had a similar effect to talking with a friend.
In a way, that’s sort of what this blog is for me– an outlet for me to express myself and get some things off of my chest, while at the same time hopefully helping a few of you in the process. While I haven’t written that much about my past mental health struggles (but I do plan to), this blog has helped me more than I thought it would.